Bug Attack

Some days I doubt. Everything. Some days I find myself on the verge of throwing in the towel and calling it quits. Then I remember how being a type A personality, quitting is not really an option. You judge yourself too harshly when you quit, why? because quitting is failing.

In town again after yet another wicked bug attack. It is frustrating really, never having been a sickly person before, I find myself more often feeling icky than feeling well since moving here. Rebekah is once again the strong one as I am once again rendered useless. At least this time it wasn't so bad as before.

First time the bugs got me we went to the local private hospital where the doctor told me I was sick because I was not used to the climate, and the nurse informed me that I did not have any veins. Drawing blood was going to be a challenge as whites have smaller veins located in different places. And you cant see veins in whites. Even in my delirious state, I knew that sounded ridiculous.

This time I started the meds in the village, and we went to the free public hospital. A friend of ours is a lab tech there and met us at the gate, walked us through the confusing corridors and got us set for seeing the doc. The doc asked normal doctor questions, wrote an order for blood work, and off we went to find our friend to get blood drawn. I was a bit nervous about the whole blood thing... but he tied the tourniquet, and said I have prominent veins. Excellent. Maybe they have become used to Africa and switched locations...

All this hooplala of traveling back and forth to town because I have gotten seriously sick really disturbs me. I don't know that I could honestly say I have ever been low maintenance, but this is high maintenance, even for me.

I begin doubting, do I belong here? Am I really this much of a pansy? Then I think about how lame it sounds to complain about only 8 months, as if that is a long time, as if it is such a big deal, and I tell myself to suck it up and stop complaining. Maybe that is what doubt really is, complaining... focusing on myself rather than others.