Q.o.T.D

Rebekah has a routine of asking a “Question of the Day” as she takes attendance in her classes. Today I attempted to fill her shoes as she went to town and I continued her routine. First class of the day: S2 Chemistry. I wanted to discuss how the lab went the day before, get some feedback on it, and attempt to work through some of the challenges they would (hopefully) list.

Collectively the class listed four areas of difficulty: 1) identifying colors 2) mixing (the salt and water) 3) not knowing what to expect 4) following directions.

Now, I am not a chemist, but I can help with colors, adjusting to the unexpected, and facilitating discussion. (WHEW!!!)

I ran and got a box of crayons, gave each kid a paper, and we tried naming the colors. (For the artists out there, forgive me for my shabby technical descriptions that follow.) We talked about “families” how each color had a name, but could also fit in the “blue family” or the “red family” or the “purple family” etc. This “too cool for school” class quickly forgot how cool they were as they experimented with colors. (PS: explaining “raw amber” and “salmon” and “orchid” is HARD. And these were NOT crayola crayons)

Then we moved on to following directions. Each kid numbered off (1,2,1,2,1,2…) and I wrote two sets of instructions on the board. Only four questions each. “Ones” did their questions, “Twos” did theirs. They really need work in this department, but struggled through.

Finally, we worked on “not knowing what to expect”. This really means that the kids were upset by not knowing what answer was the correct one, and what answer the teacher wanted. In a system of route memorization and word for word answering on exams, experimentation is difficult. Each child received a blank ½ piece of paper. I wrote on the board: 1) Write your answer OR 2) Draw your answer. I explained they could choose #1 or #2. The Question: “Who Am I?” I gave them 15 minutes (the remainder of the class) and told them to begin. They were frustrated.

“Madam, which one do we choose?” “Madam, how can I draw my answer?” “Madam, tell me the one you want” I gently directed them to the board- they had to pick. (yes i realize 15 minutes is a short time for self reflection and definition, but i wanted to start small, less pressure for them)

I collected the papers and went home. Sitting with a cup of coffee I read / looked at their answers. As I looked at each paper, their answers from the Question of the Day resounded in my mind. I asked: “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live, and why?” During class I was irked as the majority listed their home village, few listed the US or the UK, one listed Afghanistan (because they have fighters and he wants to learn to fight. Yes, I will be talking with him)

My initial perception of “momma’s boys/girls” quickly changed as I “heard” their answers to “who am i?”

“Who Am I? I am a Ugandan by nationality. I am a girl called…. I am an orphan girl… I feel embarrassed because I lost my parents”

She told me during the Q.o.T.D. that she would return home to her parents

“I am a girl and my name is… and I have every part that the girl should be supposed to have like breasts and I wear skirts and blouse.”

She said she wants to remain in Kishanje

“Who Am I?” He drew a self portrait: no ears, no fingers, in a school uniform.

He wants to remain in the village

“Who Am I?” He drew a profile face on a school uniform, one hand behind the back. Eyes and ears, but no mouth or nose. Written above the drawing: “I am a good boy for respecting teachers”

He would live in his home village

Three girls drew pictures, Eight wrote their answers. Three boys wrote answers, 2 drew pictures, 5 provided both, and one turned in a blank paper.

“I am a girl called … I am in school, aged… and in my life I like to study more than anything and I like the following things: reading books like chemistry, computer, and biology so I like to be a scientist, reading a bible, novels and magazines, playing soccer”

She wants to live in the UK because it is industrialized. Notice “soccer” and not “football”

“I am … I usually put on long sleeved shirt when coming to school. I cannot pass on somebody without greeting him/her. I usually walk a slow motion. I am short and small boy in all boys of S2. I am a good and well behaved student. I am a wordless person when I don’t want to talk and a wordy person when I feel I want to talk (make noise).”

He wants to go to Afghanistan and learn how to fight

I feel a heaviness. A sense of discouragement. How I view “myself” plays an important role in what I will expect from myself, what I will allow myself to attempt, how I interact with the people around me, and how I make decisions regarding my future.

My heart is saddened by the answers which reflected performance/behavior as the defining characteristic identified- “good girl, well behaved student” or “I like respecting our elders” or “well behaved student who respect elder people”. As though identity comes from this “well behaved-ness”. Were it merely a facet within the description I would feel differently, but it is the only description.

How can I reach these kids? How can I show them that when the day comes that they “mess up”, they don’t lose who they are? They will fail. They will fall. But that’s not the end. When they fall, their true character will be revealed (I hope). Otherwise I fear for the day when their “identity” is shattered.

A final thought- wanting to live in your place of origin for your whole life is not wrong. Limiting yourself and not being willing to dream, work hard, and learn about who you are on the inside is wrong.