Fear Culture

How do you know what the right thing to do is? How do you decide between what is right and wrong? How do you fight the pull to do the wrong thing? Is it wrong if the outcome is good, but the method is bad? If the majority decides something is right, does that make it right, good, or godly?

Someone once said “Truth is not determined by majority vote”, and that statement seems right to me. Inside of me, that idea resonates, I want it to be accurate. In the world I live in however, ‘truth’ is determined by majority vote; at least it seems that way.

I have been advised to stop asking questions about why things are done the way they are done. I have been advised to stop fighting for things that don’t concern me. I have been warned that if I continue interfering, things won’t go well for me. I have been warned that if I keep talking to students, my reputation will be ruined and those in authority won’t be able to protect me. I have been blamed for things I wasn’t even aware of, I have been chastised for things I haven’t done.

Now I find myself questioning the possible ramifications of everything I do. I catch myself wanting to do the right thing in an underhanded way, to not get caught rocking the boat. Is that right? If doing the right thing means rocking the boat, is it still the right thing?

I realize I am just a kid. I realize I don’t have all the answers. I realize I don’t see everything, I may not be privileged to know the hearts of everyone I work with and for, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am indeed human, and fallible. But does being aware of my own personal shortcomings relieve me of the responsibility I feel when I see an injustice? Does recognizing my own faults negate the validity of the work I do?

Please pray for me as I wrestle with the concept of right and wrong; pray for wisdom as I search for ways to be effective in a culture I don’t understand; pray that I may speak truth in love, and not seek to prove myself, or defend myself. Please pray for unity among the workers here, for clear purpose and clear direction, for the truth to be known.

I don’t want fear to control my actions. I don’t want fear to color my perspective. I don’t want fear to hinder what I am called to do. I don’t want fear controlling the thoughts and actions of those I work with. May this culture of fear be eradicated and these people freed from this bondage.