In Song

Sometimes I wish my life was a bit more like a musical. Not that I expect or long for a happy ending, but rather for love of the music that accompanies the actions of those involved. I play a game in my head most days, and since I am the only competitor, I generally win. It goes something like this: I catch snippets of conversation and sing the song that contains the phrase I caught. It is great fun for me, and brings a quiet smile to my heart. In addition to my self-competition, I often think in song phrases. Now, technically I could go into a discussion on the power of music, the importance of listening to good things, or even a self chastisement for using up valuable memory on inconsequential songs, but instead I am going to share a bit of my mind with you.

“Tonight I Wanna Cry” I know it is silly, but some days I can’t help but think that a good cry would do me some good. I realized it may be time to just “feel” when I went through three whole days with that song in my mind. I generally refuse myself the luxury of a good cry, because let’s be honest, what does it really accomplish?- but this week I succumbed. The kids now trust me more and more with their hurts; and the injustices, and the pain, and the sheer wrongness of their life experiences seems to pile up in my heart and mind. I find myself tossing and turning, my mind refusing to turn off as I search for ways to process all I have been told.

“Liar, Liar” the song that echoes in the back of my mind as I hear excuse after excuse for why things aren’t done yet. I understand life gets in the way, but I have a hard time accepting excuses when my kids suffer as a result of someone else’s incompetence.

“I’m so tired, I haven’t slept a wink. I’m so, so tired, my mind is on the brink” – some nights it is just hard to sleep from sheer exhaustion, both mental and physical. I feel tired of translating in my head. I feel tired of not “accomplishing” what I think I ought to. I feel tired from hauling water.

“Oh what a beautiful morning!” – in Curly’s voice of course, resonating in my head as I watch the sun rise and see the clouds lift off the lake. Mornings are glorious here. I have been working on getting up earlier and earlier each morning as I find it easier to prepare for the day ahead with some quiet time and a good cup of coffee.

Get the picture? I have been enjoying learning local songs too. Currently the song that is on my heart is a beautiful intersession prayer, a request: “Twakushaba omwoyo’rikwera shumaoije otwebembere.” Essentially, we are asking that you come down and lead us. Pretty much covers it as far as I am concerned.