The Problem of "Being Mzungu"

I was talking to a local community leader the other day (or rather he was talking and I was listening with the expected silence) and he brought up for the third time his view that I should marry from this place. As far as he can see it, there is just one problem: I need to ‘get over’ being mzungu.

The first time he explained this to me I thought I was misunderstanding him, so I laughed it off (not in his company, mind you!). The second time I felt a flash of irritation as he again told me “You could stay here forever, marry from this place, produce children, and continue your work in the village. You only need to get over being mzungu.”

Now again he tells me his view- I would be allowed to stay forever if I just stop being mzungu. This time he says it in front of other people.

Being Mzungu. What does that even mean? Am I to change the color of my skin? I have already changed my mode of dress, how I speak, the language I listen for, the food I eat, and the country I live in. Is skin color the only remaining change to effectively stop “being mzungu”? No. I am beginning to understand that in this instance, “being mzungu” means so much more.

I can kindly retrain young children to call me by my name rather than by a label. I can firmly insist the older kids and young adults address me with “nyabo” (madam) before I will respond to them. I can explain to teachers why saying “Welcome visitor” is polite, rather than “greet the mzungu”. But the real issue is not eradicating the word “mzungu”; it is fighting the label “mzungu”.

With labels come a set of expectations. “Mzungu” carries a connotation of “otherness” (as in not from here, not one of us), “wealth” (as everyone who is not African is rich), “excitement” (as seeing a circus show- the thrill of looking at the odd) and even of “fear” (as some children are threatened with “if you don’t stop crying, the mzungu will eat you”).

Now for the skeptics, let me assure you- I am not a brilliant or even an average anthropologist, nor do I claim to be a linguist. These expectations listed above are gathered from multiple (probably hundreds) of interactions where they are explained to me. Also, I have personally overheard mothers and older siblings using me as a threat to discipline.

Was the community leader talking about the generally accepted expectations of being ‘a mzungu’, or was he referring to something else? I believe he was referring to the deeper issues of “being mzungu”.

He is wise enough not to expect me to change the color of my skin, but rather to insist I change my world view. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

The problem of being mzungu is that I did not grow from this place, that is to say, my early years of formation were not spent in this culture, and therefore my perspective, my ideas, and even my beliefs are not in line with the accepted cultural standards. (For clarification, I am not generalizing “Ugandan culture” but rather speaking of the localized cultural standards of this particular group and region.) If the price for “being allowed” to stay in Uganda is a complete surrender of my world view, it is a cost too high to bear. Women are not property; they cannot be treated as animals. Girls have value- as individuals, not as future money bringers through dowry. Children are precious. Women and children are capable of unique ideas and should be allowed to speak them. The prosperity gospel is a lie; it rains on the just and the unjust. It is not better to remain silent when you see a wrong; injustice affects us all. It is not wrong to have a healthy appreciation for the skills I have gained throughout my life: yes, I can read and write. I have completed university. I know how to drive. I do have some knowledge about basic car maintenance, electronics, and first aid. It is not being proud to admit these things, nor should I deny their existence so these men don’t feel insecure or threatened. I was born and raised in a place that values hard work. I saw first had my father and mother working jobs to provide and care for us- jobs that would be considered ‘beneath them’ by people here. I can never condone laziness for any reason, least of all for pride- if you are hungry, work.

Ironically, the world view this leader wants me to surrender is that which in part, led me to Uganda. If I accepted and conformed to the view that I am not responsible for things that happen, that life happens to me and I just need to survive, that the government should be responsible for maintaining roads, our houses, feeding us, and providing for each and every need, and that as a female, God never intended for me to go beyond producing children, then would I be in Uganda?

Such is the problem of “being mzungu”.